I miss my best friend.

I can’t wait to have my best friend back. I miss him a lot right about now. God has been so gracious to bless me with an amazing boyfriend. The way we met and got to know each other was completely a God thing. He is more than I could have ever dreamt for myself. He far surpasses my dreams. But he is in Africa right now. He is living among some of the tribal people in Tanzania. He is meeting amazing people and serving as the hands and feet of Christ. I am so proud of him, yet I miss him terribly. I know that he is with fantastic people doing fantastic things, but I can’t talk to him and that just stinks! It is like my best friend has gone missing. I can’t share stories with him or tell him about the funny things that happen. I can’t tell him how I slept or tell him what happened on the latest episode of who knows what. I’m simply here, a little lonely, missing my best friend, wishing I was right alongside him. It is an odd concept when you think about the idea of missing a person. It almost hurts, but why? Why does it hurt to miss someone? I think it’s because it’s so good when you’re together, that when you separate it’s that much worse. It’s like you’re both connected to opposite sides of a rubber band and when you separate the rubber band stretches with you. This creates a tension that brings a certain sense of pain. But, that tension stretches the rubber band and it grows, making the relationship that much stronger. Or, the rubber band can break, ending the relationships altogether. So I guess distance is good. It really stinks but it does make a relationship stronger or it ends one that wasn’t good in the first place. But the stretching still hurts. I can’t wait to have my best friend back. I miss him

What a Blessing

The Lord has been good to me. He has brought a wonderful, God-fearing man into my life. He has such a huge heart for the Lord and he is so compassionate toward everyone. He loves life and does not take it for granted. He is a gentleman but also a goofball. He's hard headed and happy. He is quite wonderful. I am excited to see what happens. I am just continuing to surrender it to the Lord everyday to let him guide it and lead us. God knows what he's doing. I am happy to follow his good and perfect will no matter where it leads.

Surrender.

To give up. To let go. To relinquish possession or control to another. To give back. To abandon. This is difficult. It is also necessary. God is in control and I am not. He is the Lover of my soul and the one that guides my life. He knows the plan and I do not. Surrender is tough. There are so many times and so many things that I keep in my head, in my heart, in my mind, but they do not belong to me. I need to surrender them and trust God with them. I must abandon my life and give it over to Him, I must give it back to Him. It is His. My life is His. He has given it to me and He can take it away. It's just tough right now. My heart is breaking a little bit tonight. I need Him to take it because I can't right now. Lord, please come hold my heart. It hurts tonight.