Oh Emotions...

"I've been spending all my time, just thinkin bout ya, I don't know what to do, I think I'm falling for you..." The lovely words of Colbie Caillat, but today they speak to my longing heart. There's this boy. I promise, I am not boy crazy, ok, maybe I have been, but this one is different. He is exactly what I've always wanted in a guy. He's loud, and sometimes obnoxious. He's completely hilarious all the time. He love music and Taylor Swift! What! How awesome. I don't know how to deal with this crush of mine. I know that God has a plan and that he will work everything out. I guess I'm just struggling with surrender right now. I need to give this to God and truly let him take it. I know that I can no longer control my life, I have to surrender it to him. I love you Lord. Please take this situation and use it. I know you have a will and an amazing plan for my life. That plan is all I want. Help me to do as you will Lord!

Daddy

Well, I'm feeling a little torn up right now. My parents are amazing. I love them so much! I miss them. I cannot wait to go home for Christmas. I want my mother to know that she is my best friend and I want my father to know that he is my strength. He has given me so much. I respect him so much. I wish we got along better. I don't know how to fix that. All he ever talks to me about is my bank account and my grades. I know that he loves me but I wish he would take the time to get to know me. I want him to figure out what I'm all about. I want him to know me. I love him so much; I don't know where I would be without him.

Snow

There is snow all over the ground. Everywhere. It's covering everything and it is so beautiful. I always love the first monumental snow of the year. It's a blanket of white. It reminds me that God is big enough, not only to cover my entire line of sight with snow, but also all my sins with his forgiveness. I am feeling rather nostalgic on this snowy morning. I have this long tradition of walking in the first snow, for the last three years I have had someone to walk with me, but not this year. I will be walking in solitary, with only my God with me. It has been a struggle, but I think I'm more and more used to being independent, being free from dependence on another. I still wonder if God will bring someone into my life and if so when he will do it. It's all on his timing, I just think I am a little impatient sometimes.