Friends or Forever?

So, I’m getting this out here, so that I can put all my thoughts to rest and finally be free from them. There is this incredible, Godly man in my life and he has become my best friend. I look out for him and he looks out for me. We talk all the time, about anything at all. We are just so comfortable sharing with each other and opening up to each other. His walk with God and his passion for the Lord makes me want to pursue God more. I can only hope that my relationship with God does the same for him. I honestly feel as if he could be my one. If I were to marry him I know my life would be worthwhile. He would make me the happiest girl on this planet. His heart for god is amazing and his heart for others is so huge too. He wants to go into ministry and for me that is such an amazing thing because I want to spend my life in ministry, even if it’s not technically called ministry. I just want to follow God wherever he leads me and I want my husband to want that too. I have no idea what God has in store for me, but right now I cannot handle a relationship. Right now, I am not strong enough to trust God on my own. If another person was in my life, my relationship with God would go down the drain, and I am perfectly aware of that. If he is what God wants for my life, it is perfect, because right now, this amazing man is interested in a girl he knows from back home. She is a great girl and he has had his eye on her forever, and she is recently single. They have been talking like crazy and they are on the fence deciding if dating is the right course of action. This is good, because it allows us to continue our friendship without me beginning to have feelings for him. It is a genuine friendship! I love that! And right now, I am looking for my best friend. I am searching for a woman that God will bring into my life to guide me closer to Him and to confide in and to invest in. I need to find my best friend in a woman before I can find my best friend in a man, my husband. I guess what all this boils down to is that, if this is what God wants for my future, He could not have more perfect timing. However, it is so dangerous for me to think that way because I do not want to set my heart on him if he is not the one God wants me to marry. I am working on trusting God and surrendering everything I’m holding on to, especially my need for a man, to Him. That is all that I want to be focused on right now. Trust. Surrender. Love unselfishly.